I have always been the most indecisive person ever! When I was younger, I’d make my decisions based on my mum’s advice as I felt like that would always be the best way. I guess I then began to rely on trusting someone else’s decisions rather than my own for a fear of making the wrong choice.
As I got older, I had to start making decisions for myself but boy that was hard even when it came to deciding whether to go out or stay in, I’d literally get myself in such a state. Even the other day, I wasn’t sure whether to go to a yoga class or stay at home and get jobs done but that’s when I used my secret 😉 As I now live with my boyfriend, it’s him that has to put up with me pestering him to help me make a decision. “But what do yoooou think I should do?”, it’s like I don’t want that pressure but Jamie is just as bad as me when it comes to decision making and can honestly say I’ve definitely improved since moving out.
I’m sure I’m not the only one that goes through some torturous minutes, hours, days trying to make a decision. We propel ourselves into the future, fearing that we will regret the choice we made and then beat ourselves up about it. This is all down to the mind being so busy and cloudy. Whether it be a decision to do with a relationship, job, time management, finance or simply what to eat for dinner- we think too much! No one can predict the future!
At the end of the day, you will make a choice and that choice is the right one. It comes down to trusting the present moment and the fact is, where you are right now is exactly where you should be! Every decision you’ve made in your life previous to this present moment has got you here. Yes, right here- reading my blog post 😉
So what’s my secret?…
Next time you are faced with a difficult decision whether it be a life changing one or not (even the choice of a film can get some of us tearing our hair out) I urge you to try my secret.
Simply sit still, in a quiet place if you can, with no interruptions, close your eyes and breathe. Do nothing else, try to just concentrate on your breath, notice the sounds around you, the tensions in your body, feel the ground or chair beneath you. Sit for as long as you want or need. Whether it be 2 minutes or 20. The answer may come to you like an epiphany within that still time, it may not! It may be that you get up and continue your day and make the decision without realising.
This is mindfulness. A practice that could be considered meditation. People who practice mindfulness or mediation are better decision makers, their minds are not cloudy or busy, but clear and focused. When I experience this, I can make decisions so much easier and they are always the best decisions because I make them without propelling myself into the future but in the here and now!
By listening to the sounds in the room, the sensations in your body and by simply focusing on your breathe it encourages you to trust the information that is coming to you in that present moment. All it takes is self assurance, a trust in ones self that you can make a decision that is neither right or wrong but the only decision you were ever meant to make.
Love, Lottie x