I was sitting down to write this post because it’s for my Wednesday post and I needed to write. Can you tell I was a little blank at first. As I get into writing more this year, I suddenly panicked that I’ll run out of things to say or not feel inspired. And then I realised that this is just a fear. Not a life or death fear but fears like this can make us hold back… I have similar fears all the time, sometimes right before I post something, or before a class I teach. Feelings and thoughts of fear will weave throughout my personal and work life. I’ll get thoughts like, what if I’m not good enough, what if no one books on my retreat, what if I’m not successful, what if I’ll feel too stressed, what if I don’t know enough, what if I regret it. But somehow I’ve never let them hold me back, I let my fears guide me forwards.
Of course sometimes these thoughts do make me want to take a step back, to safety, to security, to a place where I don’t feel these feelings or put myself out there but then I remember that I’ve only ever progressed forwards in life when I’ve had to face something that’s bought a feeling of fear. Without fear I don’t think I’d be where I am now or who I am now.
It’s not like I’m a crazy adrenalin junkie and want to face my fears swimming with sharks and bungee jumping but I get this fearful niggle inside me when something exciting comes up or I get a desire to do something and that’s when I know it’s right. I know I’ll do it despite the fear because there’s so much excitement there too and the feeling after beats safety and security any day.
Some things like getting a flight on my own, staying on safari, driving for the first time after a crash, teaching my first Pilates event, meeting new people, being on my own, starting my blog are all examples of this. But what about now, I love flying alone, I drive every week, I teach so many events and classes, I meet new people all the time, I blog for a living and I know I’m just fine on my own.
This doesn’t mean that the fear feeling isn’t there anymore but the more I follow it and fight it the smaller it gets. I’ve had a feeling inside me recently that I want to travel alone for a while. It keeps coming up. I don’t know where or when yet but the more my heart and mind get set on it, the more my fear creeps in.
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway is a mantra you may have heard before.
I fear so much about travelling alone but it’s making me want to do it even more and it makes me know it’s something I need to do. I want to feel that exhilaration of fear mixed with excitement and then settle into being comfortable with it. When I’ve traveled alone for work recently I’ve felt the most me I’ve ever felt.
I feel like I’ve dipped my toe in and now I just want to jump.
And now as I write this post I realise my first sentence of fearing running out of things to write about has been smashed because I’ve wrote. I didn’t realise this post was going to be about fear or revealing my desire to travel.
All I had to do was put pen to paper.
All you have to do it follow your fear and smash it!
Love, Lottie x
I wanted to also share with you an inspiring story that reminded me of the importance of having hope, smashing fears and living for today. Heather told me her story, as a 10 year cancer survivor of a rare cancer called mesothelioma, she gets together with her friends and family at the start of February every year to celebrate life, write their fears on plates and literally smash them. I loved this and went on to read more about Heather’s story here. She doesn’t let her fears control her. Let us know what fears you are smashing this year?